persons have visited this site since May 10, 2002
~ 2003 Form ~
"Willingness to try is the beginning of doing
our part. However grand or humble
that might be, it is a state of readiness replacing depression and anxiety."
N.A. Foundation Group - Marietta
- May 2000The drive for personal gain in all its forms is based on a fear of insufficiency. Past a reasonable point, this drive becomes obsessive and can create problems. In our pasts, we were always losing things and replacement was a constant nagging problem. Our constant efforts to find and get more of the chemicals that had us enslaved created a lack of living skills we may need to regain in recovery.
When desperation born of obsessive need and compulsive usage of drugs against our will is removed, what is left to drive us? How do we manage? What is important enough to us now to keep us going? When our lives are washed clean of the more conspicuous aspects of our addiction, what do we do? Do we become addicted to people, places and things? Do we substitute cravings for money, property and the good opinion of others in place of the old obsessions? Do we trade one obvious form of addiction for another that may be harder to detect as a living problem?
Many, many of us have done this. Recovery from the disease of addiction hasn't been around long enough for all the repercussions to be taken into account. One thing seems safe enough to advance at this point though: swapping addictions won't work. Real freedom consists of being able to live without fear and pain. In NA, we stress constantly that spiritual principles are necessary for ongoing recovery.
A lot of us grow complacent after the initial thrill of being drug free wears off. We want more. We isolate ourselves and hide our feelings from others - perhaps through a misguided fear of disapproval or maybe we're letting our addiction guide us into another pathway the disease is known to take. At times, something needs to shake us into remembering that to recover, we go deeper and deeper into the spiritual principles beginning with surrender. Again, and again, we surrender to our need for help. It opens the way to growth.
Willingness is a principle because it allows us to get a grip on the fact that before change can occur; we have to give our permission. We have to stop holding aback inside. We have to relax our personal will with all its preconceptions and preferences so we can look at alternatives. When we want to select something new in our lives, the choice is up to us. Without our willingness, we never get to make the choice and remain tied up in many of our past limitations, illusions and habits.
The capacity to do our part in severing the ties to the past, our personal defects of character, brings us to the threshold of a new inner freedom. All we can do on our own is become willing to let the God of our understanding take over what is otherwise impossible for us.
Games of acquisition, control, manipulation, sabotage, projection, worry, revenge, resentment, blame assessment and character assassination are no longer necessary for those in the care of a loving God. The elimination of these and other defense mechanisms, frees up enormous amounts of time and energy.
Our willingness is really an extension of our initial surrender. For us to `come to believe' in a power greater than ourselves who can and will take care of our wills and our lives, we have to gain some understanding. Our old defenses grew up in the isolation, loneliness, despair and feelings of worthlessness that are the progression of our disease. A new life comes from learning new ways.
We will learn the infinite power of the truth. We will base our actions and goals on the miracles we find in recovery. Most, if not all, recovering addicts can remember numerous occasions where the principles of NA and recovery just didn't seem adequate. We went forward on faith and found our prior fears unjustified. Crisis after crisis failed to get us loaded or rob us of our inner faith and growing convictions. Even where we were forced to pay for crimes committed while we were still using, many of our members have been able to stay clean through incarceration. Severe medical problems have failed to assure relapse where our members were able to apply spiritual principles to the obstacles in their paths.
Money, property and prestige have the power to seduce addicts in recovery that may mistake the desire for personal gain for a blessing of recovery. Many of us who have sought these things to the exclusion of prayer, faith and meditation share in pain and desperation the addictive nature of these delusions. Instead of making us happy, they turned out to be elaborate, attractive, socially acceptable traps.
Those who are able to withstand these temptations, succeeded by incredible luck or the direct application of spiritual principles. Somehow, in their hearts, they remained desirous of more recovery and maintained a spiritual way of life.
The Sixth Tradition points out the danger to recovery that lies in money, property and prestige. Excess funds, obsessive accumulation of property and a concern with what others think of us threatens our spirituality. Where these things are seen as more real or more important than the God of our understanding, recovery fails.
These things ever divide and rarely unite people. Only with great humility, patience and tolerance have we survived the divisive, dispiriting effects of these three where we have grown - either as individuals or as local Fellowships.
While some of our guidelines, Traditions and policies of inclusion and openness may have seemed to hamper some of our members, the truth is that they only hamper our defects of character! These principles protect and to a certain extent assure our common welfare. Just as spiritual principles don't conflict with one another, it is also true that we can't be open and honest while being sneaky and manipulative. Where spiritual principles fall into disuse and are seen as less important than NA `business', it is hard to tell the difference between members of our Fellowship and members of outside organizations. The love and spiritual empathy is lacking. The preoccupation with making a profit and insuring a paycheck takes precedence over keeping faith with the Fellowship. Keeping faith can be made to seem so relative when in fact it is our basic building block.
Those who put personal concerns ahead of our common welfare should be hampered. The willingness to allow God to use you as an instrument is crucial for addicts in recovery. Yet, there is a big difference in the quality of feelings that come from selfless service as compared to selfish attempts to control others. Perhaps the way to tell one from the other is to look for signs of surrender as opposed to signs of pushiness.
Willingness is an applied form of open-mindedness. It is the way we feel before we take actions based on faith. As we personally become able to let go of defects through willingness, we are able to put spiritual integrity ahead of concerns for money, property and prestige.
1.24.03
persons have visited this site since May 10, 2002
Reprinted from the
N.A. FELLOWSHIP USE ONLY
Copyright � December 1998
Victor Hugo Sewell, Jr.
N.A. Foundation Group
2692 Whitehurst Drive NE
Marietta, Georgia 30062
[email protected]
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All rights reserved. This draft may be copied by members of Narcotics Anonymous for the purpose of writing input for future drafts, enhancing the recovery of NA members and for the general welfare of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship as a whole. The use of an individual name is simply a registration requirement of the Library of Congress and not a departure from the spirit or letter of the Pledge, Preface or Introduction of this book. Any reproduction by individuals or organizations outside the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is prohibited. Any reproduction of this document for personal or corporate monetary gain is prohibited.
Last update September 29, 2005