persons have visited this site since May 10, 2002
~ 2006 Form ~
N.A. Foundation Group - Marietta
- May 2000Through ongoing recovery, we all find our addiction trying to regain control of our lives through the weakest point in our personal program. We may find ourselves, without warning, caught up in substitution - an extension of our basic addiction. It may be obsessive food, sex, vomiting, gambling or any number of combinations.
The acceptance we find in the Third Step and the simplification of our requirements for membership to its most basic desire for freedom, stress the surrender and the hope we ourselves felt as newcomers. We constantly strive to accept life in life's terms and avoid pre-occupying ourselves with blaming others. Even if there are others involved, we must find a way to better our situation and the key to doing that is personal responsibility.
The belief that our Higher Power had taken control of our lives and our wills allows us to take acceptance into every part of our lives. In short, the word 'acceptance' expands through application into something we do almost habitually. Acceptance becomes a working principle in our lives. On several levels, acceptance helps us both in personal recovery and service to others. On one level, we know the Fellowship got along before we came and will continue with or without us. Service can be no ego trip unless we want the pain the ego brings with its limitations. On another level, we can feel the spirit moving through us. Sometimes it can be frightening even though we know it is loving - it's so big. We just accept and do our part in faith. This is the absolute best any of us can do personally.
Acceptance, as a principle, can be a doorway to solutions by applying a small amount of pressure in the place that holds the door shut. Rather than breaking down or prying open the doors, it is a key that unlocks them non-destructively. Since real acceptance tunes us into reality, we waste less time, energy and emotion trying to do things beyond our personal power. This extra time and energy becomes available to help us do better in those areas of our lives where we find we are able to be effective. Imagine, if you had an extra half an hour to talk with those you love or an extra half-day to do your job. Our capacity for quality increases when we're less concerned with quantity.
As we grow spiritually, we find others will react differently to us. Some may become jealous. We learn not to flaunt our spirituality. Our acceptance may infuriate someone who wants us upset. Many times, we will experience the feeling that we have done something wrong only to find out someone is trying to manipulate our emotions. It's amazing what you can see when you wake up in recovery! Many of our old reactions simply don't give us what we need. When someone tries to help us, we accept it. We don't retaliate with negative emotion and violence to cover up the fact that we may need help. They are not trying to put us down or make us feel less than they are.We learn to just accept the help and be grateful. As we change, the world around us appears to change. We all have certain capabilities. There is nothing that we can do that cannot be undone by simply speeding up until we can no longer do it. At the same time, we could do many things if we just slowed down and paid a little more attention. Recovery allows us the time and opportunity to do this with the help of others who have a stake in our recovery through their identification with us.
Acceptance of what God chooses to do with our will and life after we make our decision to let go, enjoins us to help make the way plain only to those who ask for help in some way. A phone call from someone who knows we are a member, a coincidental encounter or a person who shows up at an NA meeting is open to help. We have realized the vanity of trying to carry our message to those who do not want it.
Acceptance taken to the level of a principle also requires that we check out our facts and pray to make sure we know what we're accepting! While serenity applies to those things we cannot change, it takes courage and wisdom for those things we can help make better. Many of us ask, "What would God have me do?" in a variety of situations. Often, an unsuspected opportunity appears to us. Though the word acceptance may have a connotation of resignation, impotence, compromise and other meanings for many of us, recovery places acceptance in its positive form. It is honest. For addicts who are accustomed to throwing themselves at the world, it is a new wisdom to be able to back off. It is also a new choice.
As addicts, we seem to have an innate tendency to find closed doors and brick walls to butt with our heads. Acceptance can be a way of going on, opening ourselves to God's Will when a door is closed to us. For the time being, acceptance can be seen in a far more positive light where we are repeatedly put into positions where we are forced to face some challenge or demand. Many of us grow in recovery to be able to meet these challenges and satisfy them in every way. In our war with life, we often take a characteristic exception to things. Learning to live with ease and comfort may be a process of learning to be more accepting of things.
Accepting newcomers as members whether they act right to us or not. Accepting that if God's truly running the show, many things cease to be our business. Accepting a genuine love of life back into our scheme of things. Accepting that what may appear frightening to us is as nothing to our loving God. Accepting that others may think, act and believe differently from us and still be good people, not a threat to us. Accepting that, as addicts, we simply suffer from a disease and that daily abstinence and spiritual growth are the most important items on any given day.
Acceptance in time may mellow into gratitude. It seems that without gratitude, grateful acceptance, we never come to rest and have a tough time going on in the spiritual sense. As long as we are rooted in things, we are tied to them. When we realize that our needs are being met, somewhat regardless of our worthiness, we can take the option to slow down whatever we are doing and do it better.
1.24.03
persons have visited this site since May 10, 2002
Reprinted from the
N.A. FELLOWSHIP USE ONLY
Copyright � December 1998
Victor Hugo Sewell, Jr.
N.A. Foundation Group
1516 B Live Oak Drive
Tallahassee, Florida 32301
[email protected]
All rights reserved. This draft may be copied by members of Narcotics Anonymous for the purpose of writing input for future drafts, enhancing the recovery of NA members and for the general welfare of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship as a whole. The use of an individual name is simply a registration requirement of the Library of Congress and not a departure from the spirit or letter of the Pledge, Preface or Introduction of this book. Any reproduction by individuals or organizations outside the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is prohibited. Any reproduction of this document for personal or corporate monetary gain is prohibited.