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Twelve
Principles of Narcotics Anonymous
PRINCIPLE
FOUR - HONESTY
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Our Middletown, Connecticut NAWOL group is honored to be part of the
process. We have no expectations
other than staying in the process and possibly helping other addicts.
"Honesty is the ability to match up our insides with
our outsides.
It allows what we don't care about to go away and what we really
want
to appear and develop in our lives."
Getting
honest and learning to live openly with ourselves, God,
and others is such
a big part of recovery.
It becomes a general principle through constant application. Like the
other spiritual principles that guide us in recovery, the principle of honesty
tells us what to do in situations that may be turning points. Sometimes minor
troubles are merely little acts of a loving God trying to slow us down. The
problem areas may be opportunities that require spiritual principles for
solution. By applying spiritual principles, like honesty, we automatically make
ourselves as
more trustworthy, a better friend,
and a reliable human being. As creatures of habit, we can be honest until it
becomes our the
normal thing to do:.
Honesty an
is acquired through
learning that
and eventually becomes
habitual. When this happens, we can move in circles reserved for those who play
by the rules. Doorways closed to us open and things out of reach come near.
For most of us, our admission of powerlessness over our addiction is the first
honesty we've been certain of in quite a while. As we come to realize that we
are loved and respected for our honesty, we can come to other truths about
ourselves. By becoming honest, open-minded
and willing to try, we find ourselves coming into better focus as
to our
with real
values and goals. Dishonesty gives others power over us. Honesty allows us to
increase and expand our personal freedom.
Certainly,
any addict in recovery is going through a series of struggles to overcome the
habits we acquire in active addiction. Those of our members who have achieved
long periods of total abstinence and spiritual growth share the fact that each
release from the chains of our disease places new demands for personal, and spiritual
honesty on
us. Each person who trusts us is a new chance to betray. That is one
reason we take our time in recovery, we want it to last. Like the other forms
our disease takes, we learn to make the correct choice. Our choices bring us out
of our fear, denial and hopelessness. None of us are perfect yet through the
power of the Twelve Steps, we are gradually able to face life on life's terms.
We have to learn to correct mistakes and recognize the pain we cause others
or outright
wrong doing that happens
when we fall back on our old
ways. We start to
realize that in order to respond spiritually, we must do the spiritual
preparation. The more we practice
being honest, the easier it becomes. Working
the steps with a Narcotics Anonymous sponsor is a great place to start!
Honesty
as a principle, is a new habitual tool we utilize to deal with things as they
come up. Honesty protects us in recovery and fleshes out the dead portions of
our lives. The help of other members, a good sponsor,
and a home group eases our way as we become accepted as a new person. The ties
that bind us together may be more important than we know. It is characteristic
of our disease at
some point to take our new
friends for granted.
We must remember that being around honest people makes it easier for us to be
honest. When we surround ourselves
with individuals who share their pain and then share the solution that helped
them get through it, we feel more comfortable being honest with them when we
really need help. On the other
hand, if we never hear any heart felt successes and struggles, we will be less
likely to share them ourselves.
Many
of us have `traded off' different forms of honesty. If we were sick and hurting
inside, we might parade a great show of paid bills and cash register honesty. We
divert attention away from our emotional dishonesty and pain. Then we pretend
the program has let us down! If we have been more open about our thievery, we
may treasure certain rationalizations about why we do these things, exhibiting
great care and dexterity to shift blame for our offenses onto someone else. We
only need to do this as long as we are helpless to change. As soon as we can
admit our desire for change, we can begin to laugh at ourselves and stop
pretending that we didn't know what we were doing. Most of us knew, we just
didn't know any better. Our ability to make ourselves miserable with faulty
logic is almost incredible.
Honesty,
as a principle, tells us to turn away from lies and falsehoods; to turn towards
reality and get used to using the new power recovery brings. If we honestly
don't like our jobs, we change jobs. If we have amends we need to make, we
become willing and make them. We can even pray for God's help to do this. If
we're not happy in our associations or relationships, we use the power of a
loving God and find a way to become happy.
Awareness
in itself is not honesty, but it is a prerequisite. As we slowly become aware of
our actions and feelings and their consequences, we become more honest about our
motivations. We can fool others, but we can't afford to fool ourselves. As we
become more aware of our actions, we begin to realize that self-awareness is
indeed the key to our recovery. Awareness allows us to identify with what is
going on around us. Our first step is the first honest admission many of us have
made in a while. This kind of honesty gives us the ability to question our
initial ideas and feelings and look beyond them. By being open-minded, we can
allow others to plant the seeds of awareness in us, blossoming our spirit
into and
making honesty so
normal that when we are not honest, we feel a tremendous amount of pain.
Dazed
and out of step with the world of non-addicts, we began to live private fearful
lives. We would not reveal ourselves to others as we came to expect personal
rejection. This prevented our forming trust bonds and increased our isolation.
Getting to know someone new or someone who didn't use the way we did was a
serious threat. It could land us in jail or cost us our job. If we were a
prostitute - male or female - we likely had a whore's wardrobe. To live the new
life requires new clothes. If we were a burglar, we had burglar tools. If we
were a con-man, we had to learn a new pitch. To live a new life requires new
tools.
Surrender
is critical for self-honesty. Surrender is to concede without reservations; to
unconditionally accept reality. When we surrender, and really get honest, we
realize that we are powerless not only over our addiction but over many other
aspects of our lives as well. We become open-minded to new possibilities and
ideas beyond our self-centeredness. We accept the fact that we have a disease,
and that our best thinking got us here. This new attitude gives us the ability
to question our initial ideas, and look beyond them. Surrender results in
freedom,. It is an ego-erasure and helps
us to be more God-centeredness,
as opposed to self-centeredness.
When
we come to NA, we enter a society where spiritual principles are valued. As we
grow to want what others in recovery have, we become willing to adopt these
principles. We have the desire to be honest before we may actually have the
ability. Our need for acceptance, and to be a part of what we want to identify
with around us, leads us. We are attracted to this way of life. Our approval
seeking behavior can help us move towards recovery. Later on, we may get into
honesty for honesty's sake.
Desire
and willingness must go hand in hand if we are to recover. If we have the desire
to change, and we exercise the willingness to do so, then we will succeed. Our
desire and willingness for honesty are fueled by our need for self-love and a nurturing
spirit. Our
desire to practice honesty grows when we see the direct benefits in our lives.
The desire to take risks and be honest becomes less fearful. As we continue to
do things that feel right, our desire grows. The willingness to act honestly and
responsibly comes when we take action. When we're all jammed up, and we scream,
"Help me, what do I do?". We
call our sponsors. They inevitably ask, "Are you willing to get real about
this?" Getting real means getting honest. When we get real, we get to
choose whether we go on as we are or make some changes. It is no longer
necessary to live in procrastination. and
inaction.
We must have the desire and willingness to get better through the
twelve steps or else we will stop growing spiritually and eventually return to
our old way of life that guaranteed pain and misery on an hour to hour basis.
Unavoidable
pain and hardship may accompany us as we grow. We learn to focus on the growth
with gratitude and stop giving energy to the pain. We learn to ask for help a
thousand ways and help comes through each in time. Through the Steps, we
discover the things we've been doing to cause our problems and are relieved of
the necessity to pursue them any longer. We learn the rules of responsibility
and try to avoid injuring others through our actions or inaction.
As
we experience personality change for ourselves, our goals change. We find money
and possessions are meaningless if we don't feel good about ourselves. Sex is
not only empty without love, it can be life threatening. A good reputation
triggers self-destructiveness if our insides don't match our outsides. Many of
us are suspicious that we have an internal witness who punishes us if we violate
any of our own beliefs and the rules we set for ourselves.
As
these changes take place, we are experiencing revitalization on every level:
mental, physical and spiritual. We don't get involved with plots because we
don't like what plots bring. We don't allow authority figures to make us break
laws, legal or moral. As we blink our way into the world of personal
responsibility, we come to see the futility of scheming and manipulating others.
Perhaps others can take chances. If we want the clean life and freedom from
guilt, despair, and
embarrassment, we will not knowingly do wrong. Sadly, we know if no one else is
aware of our wrongdoing, we ourselves are witnesses. And we know how to punish
ourselves. It is important to learn how to back out of a bad deal or situation.
Asn
honest mistake, even an intentional mistake where we were temporarily blinded to
the negative effects, can usually be amended. Our disease is such that amends
making is a survival skill. Amends need to be made quickly once an error has
become known to us. If harm has been done, we want to stop the ripple effect. We
ask our higher power for strength and guidance. And
We do what must
be done to correct the wrong. We trust and have faith we will be guided. Often,
we find ourselves in need of the basics that personally helped us get clean and
stay clean in the first place to
and restore our sense of
balance. Being honest helps us get better quicker and keeps us on the
spiritual path that continues to give freedom beyond our wildest dreams.
persons have visited this site since January 3, 2008
Reprinted from the
N.A. FELLOWSHIP USE ONLY
Copyright � December 1998
Victor Hugo Sewell, Jr.
NA Foundation Group
6685 Bobby John Road Atlanta, GA 30349 USA
404.312.5166
[email protected]
All rights reserved. This draft may be copied by members of Narcotics Anonymous for the purpose of writing input for future drafts, enhancing the recovery of NA members and for the general welfare of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship as a whole. The use of an individual name is simply a registration requirement of the Library of Congress and not a departure from the spirit or letter of the Pledge, Preface or Introduction of this book. Any reproduction by individuals or organizations outside the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is prohibited. Any reproduction of this document for personal or corporate monetary gain is prohibited.