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~ 2008 Form ~
"Open-mindedness is our bridge to the experience
of others.
It is the passage way out of loneliness into the life of the Spirit."
Fear
and guilt keep us from doing what we can do today. Fear is concern over future
pain. Guilt is an echo of knowing we could have done better. Both limit us and
prevent us from re-experiencing past pain. Our pain has taught us to avoid
situations where we have failed. Are the limitations of the past really
protecting us? Or are they merely carry-overs from our active addiction and
early recovery? Recovery allows us to lose the defects that cause us pain and
gain the principles that make us happy, joyous, and free.
Open-mindedness
becomes a key principle in recovery because it is something we can do on a daily
basis. It can provide both the opportunity and break we need to grow at the same
time. We literally give ourselves a break when we check our past limitations by
attempting to do things that we have rightfully associated with failure in the
past. Not always, but sometimes the impossible has become possible.
The
only time we�re living in the limited past is when we make the decision to be
miserable. By choosing to be open-minded, we can exert our willingness to try
and see what happens. Sometimes, the failure will set in immediately and we will
need to draw back. If we find ourselves on thin ice, it is no time to put our
foot down. Practice and repetition will surprise us often enough to reward our
efforts. We are not the people we once were. Our minds are clearing.
Our memories begin to function properly and our ability to act
meaningfully increases. This process never stops � this is what it means to be
alive. If our range of action doesn't increase as time goes by, we will be one
of those who say, "Recovery isn't paying off. I'm not changing!" This
very dissatisfaction can be used for positive change. We can snap out of it, and
say to ourselves, "OK, I'm going to get with the program and change a few
things today,. I am going to change my negative attitude!" Admission of our
disease, coming to believe in a Higher Power, and turning ourselves over to the
care of a Loving God is a damn good start! The negativity of our self-assessment
is gone in the moment of real surrender.
Well,
guess who is in charge of your recovery? If we are not willing to step out on
faith occasionally, we have no way of changing unless we�re hit with dumb luck
or good fortune. Fortunately, we even get a little of that occasionally. With
open-mindedness, we can sit and think about something without the urgency to
jump to conclusions or apply narrow limitations on what we surface in our minds.
The
underlying fear that if we don't keep our thoughts and feelings in strict
control we will relapse or go out of control ceases to apply. We mind our own
business. We transfer control of our wills and lives to the care of a loving God
of our understanding. How else can we experience the miraculous nature of
recovery? If we have come this far without consciously realizing the miracles we
are given, we are living under a cloud. Pray for its removal. A great part of
our freedom is in our increasing ability to just listen, just read, and just
observe. We all get to choose whether we want to add something to our living and
thinking, wait a while, or simply decline the matter at hand for the present.
It
is our freedom of spirit to be able to do this - a great treasure in itself. How
different from the old pathways grown up with past pain and despair, pathways
that got smaller and more confining as our addiction progressed. Today, we can
entertain new viewpoints and ideas when they come up. We can search for new
information and apply it to help make our spirit happier.
Open-mindedness is willingness put into action.
It is a way of growing.
Part
of the miracle of personality change comes clear to us when in the midst of
learning how to do something new,.
We find ourselves snapping out of some unpleasant feeling carried over
from our using days. New understandings help us see past these painful memories
and explore the present. Another important thing about genuine open-mindedness
is being able to hold ourselves in check when we need time to think something
through. We keep doing whatever works for us until the new idea proves itself on
some feeling level. We can progress steadily. We no longer need to flee the
present.
An
old NA saying, "If it ain't practical, it ain't spiritual," reminds us
to keep our recovery real. As we have less guilt about ourselves, we have less
need for elaborate efforts to make up for our past wrongs. We can avail
ourselves of common good judgment and check out our ideas with our sponsor. In
matters of real concern to us, we can seek help through NA in many ways.
If
we are upset, emotional, or overly concerned about anything, we learn to suspend
action, pray, and seek out a member who understands our situation and has
personal experience to share with us. It is through our surrender, our faith,
and our inventory, that we are able to grow. At many points in recovery, we need
to remember these things because we are going to gain the appearance of power
over our lives and the lives of others. Ongoing surrender is ongoing recovery.
If
we cannot remain open-minded and teachable, we will find ourselves stagnating
and reverting to the games of manipulation and control. There is a difference
between discipline and control. Control deadens because if offers no choice and
lack of having a say in our lives is killing to our spirits.
Discipline
allows us to cultivate our lives by exploring the meanings of words like:
Ttraining, moderation, restraint, concentration, caution and forbearance. We are
free to avoid the excesses that lead to much of our pain and guilt. We can
develop habits of conduct and methods of preparing ourselves before we get into
something instead of floundering from one crisis to another. Caution and
discretion will become functional parts of our living rather than elaborate
over-reactions to the ordinary events of life. Taking care of our body, helps
our mind to settle down and function properly. When the mind takes care of the
body, the body chemistry works. When the body is working, it helps the mind.
As
order and balance replace the desperation that gave us the desire for recovery
in the first place, open-mindedness takes on another important function. We use
openness as a form of enlivening our daily awareness. There is always something
happening and yet if we are not open to happiness, we'll walk out the door on
some sunny day and see nothing but rain clouds. Our addiction will sell us that
our hard won ease and comfort is boring and uneventful! Many of us never think
of going to the library, walking in the park, taking a nice drive, visiting the
sick or going to see relatives - just to say hi! Sometimes we have to make a
written list to remind ourselves of new things we can do. Then, we have to
overcome all the 'important' reasons to put off doing them! God, it's enough to
make you call your sponsor!
We
need to be as able as a newcomer to renew our spirituality on a daily basis. We
have to find things to be glad about and express our gratitude for it to have a
real effect in our lives. We have to practice being happy. We have to find our
errors and amend them to prevent the build up of negative feelings that if left
unattended, will fill us with foreboding and worry. We have to step out on faith
and do something new occasionally. These things weren't necessary in a life
filled with compulsion and obsession. Our disease kept us running. Clean, we
have to learn how to be sensible and explore living on a new basis.
1.3.08
persons have visited this site since January 3, 2008
Reprinted from the
N.A. FELLOWSHIP USE ONLY
Copyright � December 1998
Victor Hugo Sewell, Jr.
NA Foundation Group
6685 Bobby John Road Atlanta, GA 30349 USA
404.312.5166
[email protected]
All rights reserved. This draft may be copied by members of Narcotics Anonymous for the purpose of writing input for future drafts, enhancing the recovery of NA members and for the general welfare of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship as a whole. The use of an individual name is simply a registration requirement of the Library of Congress and not a departure from the spirit or letter of the Pledge, Preface or Introduction of this book. Any reproduction by individuals or organizations outside the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is prohibited. Any reproduction of this document for personal or corporate monetary gain is prohibited.