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From: Nicole a.,Dalton Ga.
Category: Category 1
Date: 26 May 1999
Time: 00:24:25
Remote Name: atl2-wc1.atlas.digex.net
I came into these rooms three or more years ago and got a little over a year clean.During this time I continued the same behaviors and eventually after enough misery made the choice to go back out and use.I dont know how I made it that long without using considering the lifestyle and choices that I made.If there is nothing in it for me I am usually not a very willing person.If I ant see something in black and white& have to work for it then I usually dont want it.When I first got here I thought without the drugs I would be allright.Now I am finally seeing things so much differently.I have believed that all along but have been very closeminded to that.The fear of letting these ideas and behaviors go is scary to me.Sometimes it seems overwhelming.Alot of my behaviors is how I thought I had to get love or acceptance.Maybe not always,sometimes just the attention I was lacking.Now you tell me to let these things go?I know there can be progres here.I thank my HP for the people who are here that pick me up and are so willing to help me put the pieces of my life together.For the people who love me no matter what because I dont really know how to love myself.