[ Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Dalton Ga
Category: Category 1
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 00:16:43
Remote Name: d-pm3-1-219.ocsonline.com
Input/last friday
An essential task in our recovery is learning to love ourselvess as seperate distinct individualss. The word "separate" is important here because many of us possess personality traits, manifested in our addiction, that have left us lonely with low self-esteem and feeling dependent on others. By taking an openminded vview of the comments and personal histories of recovering addictss acting as a catalyst, an honest look at our own behavior and self-image will follow. Only through our willingness to perceive ourselbves as no better than any other recovering addict, will wee be able to ovecome our fear of the work involved in learning to love ourselves.
To trace the origin of our personality defects through psychoanalysis back to the root of our problems in childhood is not necessary because our recovery starts when we stop using drugs, not when we have an excuse for our behavior.
An asset to developing a relationship with a god of our understanding is tha twe become humble. One definition of the word humble is to be teachable. Our attendance and participation at meetings as well as associating with others in the recovery program will motivate us to lok at ourselves honestly. In turn we will look at our relationship with our children, family, friends and spouses. Only when we grow in accepting and loving ourselves can we release the control and dependence we have placed on those we care so much about.
The tools outlined in the 12 Steps along with working with a sponsor will provide the day to day resources necessary to foucs on our recovery. What we choose to do now impacts greaatly on so many others.
- Carol L. Dalton, Georgia USA June 1999
Hope, Love 'n Recovery
I have been clean (1/1/99) for quite some time, still consider myself a new-comer although I going on five months. Still seek new-comers, I relate to the hopeless, loveless ways they are going through, I have been there. Tell them, I really care and am there for you, any time and any place. I paving a path for you, I'm clearing the roughness away. I know they can do it. I have hope in them, speaking of hope.
I remember the uneasiness, the way we look at each other, and the approval we sought. I had some hope. After some time the feelings of inadequacy, uneassiness and the more we come back, the more we feel more confident. More 'n more, the hope comes in and our old ways leave. We look to those who have established themselves, see their hope in the roomss full of smiiiles, and try as I might I love each and eveery one of them. Our group is young and full of life, and you know what. Because I see that they want it. It gives me the hope of a drug-free tomorrow.
As far as love is concerned, I used to not care about people. I gave up on love, but the mroe I seek it, the harder I praay to my higher power or as I call him God. the more love he pours on me. (If you knew me, you'd know what I was talking about) but it's changes like this that make hope float. Hope turns to faith, faith in turn, turns into love and so forth.
You can tell I'm serious about this, it's in me and in my eyes. I love this program so much that somedayss I can't slow down - moving like a freight train, but without love, your chances of recovery aren't as good. Now, speaking of recovery, I heard a long time ago "We are like ships passing through the open waters at night. We see the lighthouse and we can proceed and not worry about the rocks and other risks."
That pretty much sums up recovery for me. I am the lighthouse. The newcomers are it's ships, and NA is the beacon. Together, we can do it. But divide us and well, we don't have to guess whaat the rocks are, they are relapse. Same principle: we are the planes comin in for a landing, without lights we crash and burn.
Recovery can mean so much, so little depends on how one works his program,. I think I'm working a good program and my strength lies in the new-comers. Ssome "4" them. They are strong and I aam there for them. I just wish to see mroe (breeds) Native Americans in recovery. Wish more of my brothers would wake up to the Awakening that's going on.
I believe in Recovery which is half the battle fought. I strongly feel, as well as believe in the principles we've set forth, and can say once you let go, lt God - that's the other half in between. Well, that's our part. We can make it or break it. Personally speaking, I enjoy being a winner.
Mahalo - Dalton, Georgia June 1999