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From: Kelly S.
Category: Category 1
Date: 17 Apr 1999
Time: 10:23:01
Remote Name: atl2-wc1.atlas.digex.net
I thought I would jot down some thoughts that are in my head lately. I think back and I realize that most everyone I use to hang with in active addiction is either dead or dying, most of them from AIDS. And then there was the death of my parents in 94 and 95. I figured I'd "gone through" these events and learned the lessons needed. Thats when a suffering addict came through the doors using and had the news of his own positive test result and had known for some time. In my heart I wanted to be there and try to help. But in my head, I wanted to run as far away as I could. Selfish among other things. In talking to my sponser I realized that I never went through the death of a loved one at all. I medicated the feelings and emotions that I was suppose to go through. I pray I can walk through my own selfish fears with my Higher Power guiding me and be of some service in helping the still suffering addict. Its kind of like, get out of yourself, get of your ass, and do something Kelly. More later, Kelly S.