~ 2002 Form ~
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
( Miami Literature
Conference - May 25, 2001)
Moreland, Georgia Edit October 2001
Total abstinence from all drugs is the hallmark of NA recovery. The key to the disease concept is the desire to grow along with total abstinence. Some of us suffer from illnesses that require the use of drugs but that does not prevent their finding recovery in NA. During illness, we just have to do the best we can. Those who use illness as a way to use soon find out that if you cheat, you lose. Recovery depends on desire for freedom from active addiction. We do not make people sick or well. We share a tried and true approach to living with addicts in need of help.
There are some among us with diseases in addition to addiction (like Hepatitis C or HIV) who need to be able to live clean while dealing with such an illness. The answers to our living problems are in the Twelve Steps and for us addicts there is no exception to this issue.
Living with a life-threatening illness is a relevant issue to our Fellowship, although it may not be talked about much. It is recovery while coping with another life-threatening illnesses. When we were out there using, a lot of us did irreparable damage to our bodies. Today, in recovery we have to live with the consequences of our active addiction and somehow stay clean as well. We wish to share how we manage to do this on a daily basis.
We know that addiction is incurable, progressive and fatal. It can be arrested at some point and recovery is then possible. The same holds true for other illnesses in recovery. We cannot go back and change what we did to ourselves, but we can choose to live just for today. Even if we cannot arrest physical illness, the spiritual damage it does to us can be stopped. Recovery shows us a new way to live - even with a potentially fatal illness. Anyone with health problems that stays clean "come hell or high water" has something very valuable to share.
Recovery helps us find out what we need to become complete and guides us in the direction we need to go when we need help. Power is the ability to define reality. While our disease robs us of this power, our recovery restores it. Dealing with life on life's terms means being able to get through times of illness or being able to adapt to living with something we can't control. We can accept these realities and get support from our fellow members.
One of the things we guard against in writing this material is the presentation of ‘good ideas’ for others to live by with no personal involvement or validating experience to back it up. Instead, we find people with our problem and find out what they do to get along. We have known members who died from cancer, AIDS and other causes but never lost faith and never stopped working their NA program. They would go to meetings and share what was going on with them. We are sure they helped others by the courage of their example.
An addict shared: "Just before I first came to the program, I had a broken foot and it hurt like hell. I was prescribed a painkiller and took it as prescribed. I remember the point where it was starting to get me going in a way that was all too familiar. It scared me and I stopped taking it before the pain was gone. It felt like a close call. After I got in recovery, it made more sense to me. I had the desire for recovery before I had the Program.
"I sponsor a man who went through the removal of a lung. He was in pain and had to take medication but he never lost the attitude and desire for recovery that makes us members. I never felt he was being dishonest or playing games. He could have died easily. It would be cruel to tell someone in that situation to throw away their medication. Recovery works and can help us in all sorts of circumstances."
Members who lose even for a short time the desire for recovery run the risk of relapse. After all, most members who have relapsed speak of losing their desire well before actual picking up the first drug. Developing a playful attitude towards the essentials of recovery is a warning sign. Stopping some of the things they have been doing to stay clean or grow spiritually are bigger warning signs.
An addict shared: "I always have to remember that addiction itself is a life threatening disease. Whenever I allow myself to become spiritually hungry, I find the urge to feed the addiction emerging.
"One of our local members is a paraplegic. He comes to the meeting in a wheelchair. Luckily, the building where we meet allows him to enter and exit under his own steam. Last Friday night, I went to ‘Buckhead’ to walk and stare at the neighborhood I used to live in during my college days. It has sure changed a lot as there are many more people and entertainment spots. Alongside one of the streets was a musician sitting with his guitar, amplifier and a set of harmonicas. He was setting up to do a live street performance.
"It took me a moment to realize that it was my buddy from the meeting, in his wheelchair, singing his heart out for tips and kicks. His first song was ‘Hoochie-Coochie Man.’ Sometimes, I think am a pretty fearless guy but I swear I do not currently have the guts to do what he did! I can play and even sing sometimes (I think!) but to do it in public along a street on a Friday night is awesome. I was impressed! I did not realize until I came past this topic that while his illness may or may not be life threatening, it is sure life limiting. At least I thought so until I realized that he is doing things that I cannot do! He helped me grow that night - and kicked out some really good blues!"
Another addict shared: "Being in the situation at present of dealing with several health issues for which the treatments are apparently somewhat counterproductive at times, I find that ‘keeping it as simple as possible’ definitely helps.
"I have experienced all the things that went on when I first got clean. I have been putting a lot of attention into modifying my eating patterns. I recall at about two weeks into the commitment, My head hurt, my belly hurt, my arm hurt, my toe hurt, etc. and this disease said, ‘If you're gonna still feel bad, why bother?’
"I picked-up the tools that y'all gave me. The Basic Text tells me that the only alternatives to recovery are jails, institutions, dereliction and death. I find that when I start feeling ‘hopeless and powerless’ with what is going on - it helps me to remember that dereliction is a neglect of, or failure in, duty. It is being remiss.
"I found that I have to dedicate my life each day to ‘recovery’ and then God provides me with reminders of my commitment and provides the strength to stay with it - no matter what."
We don’t play doctors in NA; we share a proven program of recovery from addiction. We don’t claim to have all the answers. Where NA is new, there have been tragic occasions where uninformed people have given irresponsible medical advice and we take the issue very seriously: we are not doctors! Some drugs have side effects from unsupervised withdrawal like heart attack and other major concerns. Sadly, addicts have died from unwanted medical advice. We recommend that you seek the help of an informed physician and we pledge to do all we can to help the medical community get accurate information on our experience with addiction and recovery.
Someone who is required to take medication to deal with illness outside their control is not using. We have found that our members stay clean through major surgery and amputations requiring all sorts of drugs: they did not relapse spiritually and required no detox. As the pain subsided, they dispensed with the medication. In many of these cases, they had members visiting them in the hospital, bringing them a meeting, visits from their sponsors and the literature open at hand! It is hard to imagine a greater testimony to the healing power of NA recovery.
Others have had physical and emotional complications that resulted in medications that while they don’t get you high, they are definitely to be taken seriously. Nevertheless, the rule ‘if it is for an illness, it is not using’ applies in nearly every case. Naturally, some will abuse this but we cannot control that. We can make someone who expresses a sincere desire for recovery welcome in our meetings. They may have nowhere else to go. Whether their personal situation allows them to get off ‘everything’ or not is something that is between them, their sponsor, their physician and their Higher Power. No one can judge their situation with the assurance of accuracy. Sincerity most always triumphs and those who have gaps in their desire for recovery will always find a way to use. We would hope that our members take time to pray when and where concerns of this type come up. Narcotics Anonymous is a program of total abstinence and yet we utilize practical spirituality.
Someone with emotional disorders on medication may feel comfortable in our meetings for a time, yet never be an addict. Disruption of any sort is rarely tolerated beyond a point, but a surrendered, sincere desire for self-betterment is most respectable. Life threatening illness means someone is living with imminent death. Kindness and restraint can help us reserve our "firebrand" statements about staying clean for those who are not otherwise ill. Recalling our pasts, we try to make room for those who need us reserve our judgment for ourselves and do the best we can to live the will of our loving Ultimate Authority. The temptation to give advice may be great but all we can actually share is our experience. Recalling this may help us to avoid situations where we might hurt someone unintentionally.
1.12.02
persons have visited this page since October 8, 2001
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Copyright � December 1998
Victor Hugo Sewell, Jr.
N.A. Foundation Group
673 Park Drive - Atlanta, Georgia 30306
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Last update December 18, 2002