THE NA ATHEIST

NA includes addicts who come from many backgrounds and who have a broad range of spiritual beliefs. Because of the special nature of our spirituality, we even include those who have no certain beliefs. Our goal in this chapter is to assure our members that our freedom to believe or disbelieve is real. What is an atheist? One definition of an atheist is: a person who does not believe there is a God. There are at least two types of atheists - Religious and Rational. Atheists live in the realm of the tangible world. The Religious Atheist observes a religious culture which does not recognize any form of God. The Rational atheist also does not recognize any form of God. However, the Rational atheist does not necessarily identify a religious perspective as a reason for atheism. We may live and attend NA meetings in the Occident or the Orient, the Western Hemisphere or the Eastern. We may be members of a scientific or intellectual culture or we may be members of any human culture or profession. Atheism is the right to believe a spiritual program of our choosing rather than a specific form or style. We need to dissolve the stigma of atheism. An atheist in recovery lives by the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. We embrace life. No matter where we live or what our background is, if we are addicts we do not have to ‘choose’ between our religion and our recovery. We can have both.

A ‘theist’ believes in a supernatural being or forces. More than just acknowledge atheists in NA, many members respect and agree with us on many points. We atheists have trouble believing in the intangible. We need to hear, touch, or taste to satisfy their feelings about surrender. Many of us can surrender to NA or the spirit of NA when we can't surrender to supernatural concepts in good faith. We can tangibly ‘feel’ NA. Atheists, like other recovering addicts, exercise our absolute freedom to develop our spiritual beliefs without interference. When it comes to recovery, the NA atheist follows a purely spiritual path. While do not pray to a supernatural being, most of us meditate on a daily basis. Often times, the NA atheist has an in-depth experience with meditation. Meditation helps us work the Twelve Steps where we find it impossible to use prayer. We accept the spiritual part of the disease of addiction - our total self-centeredness. The Step that guarantees this freedom is Step Three with the appearance of the phrase "of our understanding." The idea behind these words is what makes the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, spiritual and not religious. Atheists develop their belief around what works for them. Those members who believe in a God of their understanding should not be offended by this because the recovery and life of an addict is at stake.

There are many ways for the atheist to translate the theistic phrase in the Steps to spiritually equivalent, personally relevant language that expresses the concepts that are NA. Many of us debate using a sponsor who is not an atheist. We wonder if we should sponsor an addict who is not an atheist. Some of us wonder what we will say when we are asked to open/close a meeting? For the sponsor/sponsee situation where one is an atheist and for situations of NA literature of a theistic nature we celebrate our diversity, for it reminds us we all have different ways of working for the same thing. Some things cannot be easily said, yet they must be learned, loved, and passed to others. When we say them, we say them imperfectly and hope we are understood. If we are understood, we will have shared meanings, but only exchanged words. It is in the sharing that the healing and the growing can begin to take place. We know that the meaning of a Step is not in the words, it's behind them. So we do not become overly attached to words over principles. Words carry us to principles like a boat carries us to harbor.

Although atheists are a minority group within NA, they work the Twelve Steps, stay clean, and grow spiritually. Their definitions may be different from that of other members. It is OK that they are not a majority. We celebrate the difference that allow us to carry our simple message to so many different addicts. Although we realize that we are a minority group within NA, we know the danger of feeling unique. Most of us have experienced feeling left out because of our belief. Some theists in NA try to ‘convert’ us. This brand of presumption can kill us if we are not aware of our basic freedom of belief. We overcome the feeling of being an outsider by sharing our belief with our fellow members. We try to be as considerate as we would like others to be of us. Sometimes atheists are not respected by other members in NA. This cannot be helped in many cases. We try to maximize our gratitude for those who show us love and understanding. We know we are not alone. There is a deeper language of the heart which is often hidden by words. We speak this language. It is the path of the heart. We follow it to our true self, for there we will find others. No one is alone in NA.

Until now, the NA atheist has not had literature to read of a non-theistic nature. Atheists had to cope with theistic literature. This was not a new situation and we tried to be understanding, even if we felt funny. Now, like all members, we know we are free to follow a belief that works for us. Literature which can be embraced by the NA atheist is valid if it helps addicts. The question arises, how can atheists work the 12 Steps where the Step mentions and seems to require belief in God? The NA atheist works Steps Two, Three, Five, Six, Seven, and Eleven, by using their minds to find a solution. While this may put the NA atheist to some trouble, the need for recovery and a new life is strong motivation. Understanding Steps Two and Three from the viewpoint of an atheist recovering in NA may help serve as a guide to the other Steps.

Step Two - "We came to believe that the NA program could restore us to sanity." Most atheists recognize early in recovery that we could stay clean in NA regardless of our beliefs. Part of the NA Traditions guarantee atheists membership based on our desire to stop using. We are not expected or required to endorse or adopt any creed or religion. We experienced the insanity of addiction in our lives and came to believe that the NA Program could restore us to sanity. As newer members, we carefully watched the recovering addicts who greeted us and freely shared their experiences in recovery. We could see and feel their spiritual awakening long before we understood it. Eventually, we developed trust in the NA program and the willingness to share openly with other members. Our belief that the NA program could restore us to sanity did not come naturally. We watched and listened at meetings until ‘we came to believe.’ Many of us participated in group service, making coffee or cleaning up, until we were able to surrender to this step.

Step Three - "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the loving NA Fellowship." We learned in Step Two to trust the NA Program and Fellowship. This trust took time to develop and eventually grow into our belief that the NA program could restore us to sanity. Through sponsorship and listening in meetings, we learn that Step Three in an action step. In Step Three, we make a decision which represents a turning point in our lives. We now understand why an addict alone is in bad company. Our understanding of the NA message of recovery helps us in our daily lives. We see proof that NA works through the improvements in the quality of our lives. These experiences make it easier to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the NA fellowship. We no longer want to be alone.

Often we are asked how we work step three if we are atheists. The answer is that we look to the spiritual or recovery principle behind the words and we practice it. We may find ourselves in a position to ask, "What is the function of this Step in my recovery?", "What principle(s) does it emphasize?", "What are the possible mechanisms by which it works?" We attend many meetings and listen closely when addicts share their experiences with this step. We may determine the function of step three as alleviating undue, unnecessary, or unreasonable anxiety which is impeding positive action, in order that we may do the next right thing. The principle involved to us may seem to be willingness. The mechanism by which this occurs for the theist deciding to turn it over to the care of a personal God, conscious entity, supernatural being, or other unspecified loving force appears to be or is reported to be the apparent mechanism by which part of the transformation from one emotional/mental state to another occurs.