SERVICE

We have gone the way before them and can share our experience. Whether we kept the faith through a burning desire for recovery or simply followed the advice to "Keep comin' back," we stayed clean and continued to grow. Almost everyday in some way our surrender, faith, and hope have been tested. Many, many times we make mistakes and yet we are protected. We are grateful for the passing of the obsession to use, for the support that keeps us going and for the choice we have today. Undue emphasis on the business of NA can result in the kind of strain where it takes a lot of effort to do a little good. Our Fellowship has proved itself endlessly creative in finding ways around the games of those who would seek to control us.

This should provide comfort for some and guidance for others. The answer is not in bureaucracy. It is in the will of a loving God. There are reasons why we involved so many people in our decisions. Parts of this will may be revealed to each of us, so we have to share. This is not the kind of Fellowship where we follow orders. It is our business to know why we do things as much as what we do in different cases. It takes a steady diet of information covering broad outlines and detailed aspects of our way of life to continually find the common denominators that bind us together spiritually. We have to hold the pieces together to see the picture in the puzzle. If you feel at any point that your recovery is threatened by your service involvement, run to your sponsor and if the problem can't be resolved, resign and get back to basics. In Narcotics Anonymous, we see a steady stream of movements. Understandably these principles takes away some of the fear of zealots. There are enough loving, caring, experienced members to make the most thorny problems solvable in time. Just so long as we stick together, extend ourselves for the newcomer and maintain our spiritual condition, nothing can break our circle.

Somewhere there is someone who cares about the problem that is troubling you and has some positive solutions to offer from their personal experience. Do not isolate or let yourself feel that no one cares. While some problems will be solved easier than others, try to bear in mind that this is our Fellowship and if we have problems, it is because our growth constantly brings our members into areas where they have little or no positive experience and conflicts are inevitable. Whatever the matter is, we do care and we are trying to make it better for everyone. We just have a few more addicts than we used to and that means we have to take a few more personalities into consideration.

We will get good at either explaining how what happened has neither the effect nor the implication that bothers you until you are fully and completely satisfied. Hope, for the sake of NA that you had it wrong and once it was explained you sense of outrage goes away. Now, what if the members whose council you seek agree with you and explain exactly what it is that bothers you so that you know you're not alone. That efforts towards a remedy are either initiated or the matter is brought to the attention of others who share your concerns and the remedy of the problem you experienced will be covered over a broader portion of the Fellowship. There is really no alternative to the approach outlined above. There may be a few eternal problems that will never go away but they will likely have some positive function to offset the trouble they put us to from time to time.

If you see or know of a disorder, there are several steps you should take. First, calm down. There is hardly any area of interpersonal trust that has not been violated. The Spirit of Recovery has survived. There is probably no type of structural violation that hasn't been explored more than once. Narcotics Anonymous survives. Any impropriety, any exploitation, and any particular thing that upsets your sense of moral correctness: it has all been done and we have survived. So lighten up a little so you can think clearly. If possible, speaking to the concern at the instant it is perceived can be corrective. If there is resistance or you are treated poorly or told to shut up, bide your time. Write out in detail what your concerns are and take them to your sponsor.

Whenever people get involved with one another on an ongoing basis, they become subject to generalizations that apply to all groups. Certain aspects of our NA way of life are like social movements. It is interesting to see the movement of ideas and the effects these ideas have on people in a similar way.

First, one or more people discover something wrong, something that has to be changed, improved or dealt with to satisfy a need. These people are called zealots. They will work for little or nothing, are capable of great effort, and play the crucial role of initiating action.

Second, if the zealots are successful, they attract the popular interest of others who see the need and agree something ought to be done. Various proposals as to what ought to be done are presented and discussed. This is the popular stage and leaders are likely to be prophets or reformers.

Third, one of the proposals discussed in the earlier stages gains popular support and must then be formalized to gain the support needed to address the need or deal with the issue of concern. A president is typical of the leadership required for this phase of a social movement.

Fourth, if the first three phases are successful, the formalized proposal becomes institutionalized. Funding, staffing and interaction with other organizations must be worked out. A new bureau is formed and lines of support are routinized. Leadership is likely to be an executive director and while none of the early energy is gone, the need is to some extent, being met.

This may be a good place to remind ourselves that all problems yield to gentleness and kindness. No lasting progress is based on manipulation or coercion or unknowing or unwilling addicts. We always find out. Then, with the help of a loving God, we set matters to rest and go our way in peace.

There is a distinct example that may provide an interesting topic of discussion. Voting when uninformed or unsure of our feelings on the issues before us is not spiritual, it is lazy. It postpones a solution while creating new disorders. People can't agree in reality unless they have a common understanding and a good feeling inside. Remember, NA is a spiritual fellowship and not a for profit organization. We have to stick to the principles that work for a fellowship like ours. Quoting from a book called Bureaucracy, "In bureaucracies of a profit making or financial nature, individual opinion is sacrificed in favor of efficiency. In bureaucracies of a spiritual or religious nature, efficiency is sacrificed in favor of individual opinion." When assemblies vote, participants can vote for the motion, against the motion or abstain from voting. Does this seem simple to you? The voting on the clear yeses and noes is in itself deceptive. If we are agreed on using voting as a means of deciding issues, what occurs if there is an overwhelming majority of voting participants who are in favor of a motion yet share in common a lack of understanding the question. Or they may be ignorant of some key point that would switch their position totally. What is the value of a vote in these cases?

For those new to the questions posed above, we could continue with a successful, text book style presentation that would satisfy the job of presenting the point in clear unmistakable terms. By doing this we would lend creditability to the notion that voting is the answer. Our Traditions tell us, in a clear definite way, that our Ultimate Authority may express itself in group conscience. This may seem to lack the force and clarity of voting but it is group conscience that will carry in the end. This is because a group may pass a motion, unaware of certain elements and the motion may be considered to be in force. As soon as members become aware of the error, they are usually free to change their mind or discontinue their support, claiming rightfully that the effect of the motion was not considered possible, or likely when they voted. This observation makes it a wonder that we ever agree on anything or what is more important, that we are effective instruments of the loving God that we reach through the Twelve Steps. As with other aspects of the NA program, this appears to be more confusing than it is in practice.

Second Tradition in mind, to effectively serve in this Fellowship, we have to consider these questions on one hand and develop a feel for getting good things done on the other. Another study topic that comes up among student of politics and religion, is the difference between objective and subjective questions. Such topics may help us understand what other people are saying or getting upset about. Our base line in NA is just to relate effectively enough to get some help for some addict who is hurting and would get the help we offer if it is available in their area at the time they need it. If the help line is working, they will call. If a meeting is listed on the schedule, they will come. If they can make contact with the NA recovery process, they will be able to stop using and start living. This, we hopefully will remember, is what it is all about.

We have been forced to consider such questions as the price of growing. When we get pressure on us and demands for action exceed general knowledge, problems are inevitable. The goal before us, many of us believe, is to make the written structure accord with the wishes and reasonable expectation of our newcomers. Financial accountability should be clear and up front. Questions under consideration require adequate information in a useful form to equip member who may lack specific knowledge on key subjects. Many times we have to rough it or make mistakes before we can get it right. The answer is never money.

Now, do abstentions count yes or no? Or do they count nothing? Do they count on ordinary motions and not on motions of substance? Or is it the reverse? Do voting participants have a right to refrain from voting? In the case of representatives, do they serve those they represent well by voting yes or no without regard for the express - sometimes ‘voted’ - will of those they represent? Suppose their vote is going to count for or against the question regardless of their wish to abstain. In other words, by not voting, they may under the rules of order agreed to by the assembly, they in effect vote yes.

Service is not about control. It is about helping others with the strength and guidance of a loving God. Control is a tool of management systems and may work very well in corporate settings. Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual Fellowship, not a management system. This is why it is important to keep our services simple and direct. It is easy to get caught up in the seriousness with which we take ourselves. Chairs and participants should take time to lighten up if committee works gets locked up with emotions and personal concerns. Likewise, we may need to tighten up if we get too loose and carefree. Balance is the key. Spending time and money to set up management systems that ‘promise’ to help at some future date might best be left off. ‘More will be repealed’ is a phrase that might help some find comfort in the machinations of group conscience by unskilled or inexperienced service workers who have not yet realized the nature of the people they seek to govern. How would such culprits enforce their sanctions against a tribe of gypsies? Addicts are peculiar people and while we may appear to be asleep, we have ways of watching. Still, this is not to condone or permit such disruptions. Enormous energy may be required to set a simple matter straight.

Working together in an atmosphere of love we share our troubles and the solutions. There may be times in our recovery when we feel our character defects have the upper hand over the spiritual principles we desire to live by today. At these times, we take a few seconds out to ask our higher power to help us deal with what we are faced with spiritually. With the guidance of our higher power, we may have the opportunity to postpone dealing with situations until we can do so spiritually. Ego is the real issue behind all contentions and appearances. We view issues in terms that favor those we ‘like’ and leave out those we either dislike or simply do not know. While you will sooner or later hear someone actually say, "Don't give me that God stuff!", don't settle for that. It is the ‘God stuff’ that guides and provides for all we need in recovery.

When members gather together to act in the name of Narcotics Anonymous, they place themselves in a special position. If they are surrendered and sincere, the spirit of desire for recovery will enable them to do their work as part of our group will. If they have not learned the lessons of the Third Step, they will experience difficulty and lack strength and guidance. Even with great resources, they will fail. The first lesson of service should be that God works the miracles not us. The instant we begin to take personal credit for God's miracles, forces are engaged to reduce divine intervention to the merely human level. The service structure sets the stage for some of these miracles, but can take no credit for the spiritual forces that are engaged and God does all the ‘real’ work. When we forget this and that the structure is merely an extension of the conscience of individual NA groups, the structure begins to take on a life of it's own and can set itself up finally as the enemy of the group.

Along with this lesson is the fact that all our service disorders trace back to the disease of addiction. Most if not all of our service conflicts involved members who are knowledgeable about NA recovery, our Twelve Steps, and our Twelve Traditions. The sad thing is that in these conflicts, neither side will communicate with the other. Nor will they subject the basic areas of concern or disagreement to the creative spirit of open discussion. Personalities align with personalities and soon there is no room for that God Stuff. There is little members of goodwill can do on such occasions except tend the wounded and wait for the battles to die down.

Our Society and Fellowship has faced disorders within our membership since addicts first began to get clean in NA. Many of our problems have to do with getting NA started somewhere. Today, we have the problem of surviving our bigness. It seems that when we're small, we're careful. When we're big, we get wasteful. We don't quite treasure each and every member with the same intensity many of us received when we were new. It is easy to be distracted by the competing demands of our daily personal life. Gossip and rumor may still provide a convenient way to appear informed without thinking. If we come to love those around us, we notice their pain hurts us. Betraying personal confidences, criticizing others, making ourselves look good by making those around us look bad, these are ways that fail to give us what we want. We may feel badly if we find ourselves doing any of these things but that is not the question we ask ourselves. What we ask ourselves is this: is this the best I can do? There comes a time when we can do better, and we get to go on then.

The dream of love and kindness among addicts who have survived total hell only to wind up contending over useless issues and mental conflicts is how recovery ends for those of us who fall into that trap. We who have hurt enough renounce these things. True there are problems, there will always be problems. We will use these problems to work out creative, loving solutions, not ongoing political battles and never ending conflicts. WE CAN LEARN from our mistakes!

Wherever there are members of goodwill, there are no service disorders. Where there are members who are glad they are clean today, there are no problems. How are things doing today? Fine, everything seems to be in working order. Those who are at peace are finding peace. Those who are bound by power, property, and prestige seem to be getting just those things. Those who remember where they came from are glad to be somewhere else now. The real power still rests in the care of our Ultimate Authority who may express itself in our group conscience. Be careful where you put your mind because the rest of you will surely follow.

We cannot do it without each other and one of our basic understandings is that we are each and every one of us important. NA is not a business or a financial institution. We deal with these aspects of our existence because we must yet our real focus remains on our gratitude and our practice of spiritual principles. Without these even our abstinence wears thin. Spirituality is not an option for us. We must feel something good spiritually to survive the rigors forced on us by life and our disease. Certainly, NA has been much more successful than the various help agencies and medical approaches in making the clean life available and possible for the largest group of addicts ever to get clean together.

When too many new members get into service with too little clean time among them, complaints are heard about service burn out. This is not service but its opposite. When people say they are tired of the politics, they are not saying they are tired of loving, caring and giving. Something has gone terribly wrong and no one is courageous enough to do anything about it. It is taking instead of giving. It your service doesn't help recovery it isn't service. It is selfish and taking the old game in a new wrapper. Service is freely given and freely received. It was some members loving service that gave each of us hope in our early recovery. Only our selfishness would make our caring and sharing seem negative. If we no longer have the capacity to care, we should resign our office or let go of our committee commitments until we can regain our sense of serving. Members need to find the positive option at any given point and be able to step out on faith and do it!

It has been said, "There is nothing spiritual about service work." NA is constantly being reborn as new members get involved and form new groups. This steady influx of positive interest and enthusiasm has kept us growing as a Fellowship, offsetting many times outbreaks of personal contention and infighting. While combatants are preoccupied with their wounds, the newcomers are setting up house! Actually, the real disorders seem to be mainly at the world level and of those, mainly in the business side. The service functions tend to get done and with little recognition, many basic routines are carried out in a fine and exemplary manner.

Competitiveness can be interesting as long as members keep their eye on the ball and remember that God works the miracles in NA and that the best we can hope for is to be servants worthy of trust. To be effective we have to have enough understanding and agreement to terms to have function. We don't have to agree totally on every question. We may have to be reminded at times that each of us has funny little prejudices and odd attitudes we picked up from somewhere as kids or young people out of the raw mix life threw at us before and during our active addiction.

One half dozen and six may have the same meaning but we better agree on which one to use so that we, and our listeners, will have some idea what we are talking about. Needless disagreement and useless argument is good for nothing. Apparently simple terms otherwise become a matter of philosophical debate if we don't emphasize the ties that bind us together over our differences. This can shut us down functionally if we are not careful. Anyone who has been in service five years of more should know what is being addressed here.

When our Area Service Committees find themselves struggling, many of us become distressed because we feel attached towards, and dependant upon, our service structure. By ‘struggling’ we mean an area service committee that cannot pay it bills, fill its trusted servants positions, conduct business, uphold the Traditions in all it affairs or be directly responsible to those it serves. This state of affairs often causes a ground-swell of support among concerned members who want to save Area Service and prop it back up. Such attempts, however well intentioned, are equal to putting a band-aid on a severed limb -- its not going to work. We find that, just like a relapse, the roots of the apparent symptom are linked to a history of disease. Group conscience is not what I think or you think, it is an approximation of what we all think on a given topic or issue. If we don't get down to it, our decisions and policies will wobble or be impossible to enforce. As a spiritual fellowship and non-profit organization, we tailor our means to suit our ends because we must feel good about what we are doing as we do it. It is this goodness that counteract some of the pain of our pasts. Helping others slips into the realm of impersonal altruism until we have someone screaming for help in our personal space, our car or our living room. Realizing we are all part of something that gives that help is the big deal and we surrender if we want to participate. This goes for the loftiest trusted servant to the lowliest elected representative.

One truth comes slowly. For decades our Fellowship wallowed in the shallow water just off shore trying to avoid wetness before setting out for the other side of the river. To cross, either start swimming or take the boat! We have found the spirit of a loving God present in all our service meetings. The concept of addicts meeting together and sharing ideas without anyone being harmed is evidence of this loving God. We won't ever come up with the perfect system. Fortunately, we don't have to be perfect to live long, happy and useful lives! Service is a visible test of our surrender, faith and devotion. Nobody can mash our buttons like another addict.

Twelfth Step work doesn't come easy. If we have disbelief intact, an inability to say we have made a decision to let our God care for our lives, our defects of character in working order and a reluctance to make amends, our ‘service’ may be limited. If we pattern ourselves after someone who has been in recovery long enough to know what we do and why, chances are we will feel the joy of giving right away. If not, we will almost certainly fall back into our patterns of hatred, jealousy, rivalry and insecurity. In other words, we will begin to act on our defects. This is not our fault. It is just the way the disease of addiction works in recovery to attempt to restore us to insanity.

A side effect of our rapid growth in certain areas has resulted in some cases where so many addicts get clean, they water down the message and fail to grasp the continuity of giving that is embodied in what we call service. Where this happens, the activities involved in carrying our message can seem like a business to some and a power struggle to others. Of course, struggling for power is something we should deal with in our first step. Addiction really is a killing disease and it will always seek a way to make us feel worthless and hopeless.

It might help make this point more clearly to focus on the idea that results are not all we are after in our service work. Sometimes the most important person who gets served is the trusted servant themselves. Are they not members? Do they not then need help in learning how to live clean? Does not service by its very nature create opportunities to grow that would not otherwise exist? Helping others validates the process. Fear has often justified falsification of minutes, prearranged elections, and resulted in incomplete or misleading reports. Group conscience processes are meant to filter out what doesn't work by putting in a position of control only people who care about NA and are not subject to the strains and pressures of conflicts of interest.

Some of us feel we are so imperfect and our flaws so deeply hidden and embedded that we can never achieve happiness and recovery at the same time. In this pain, our desperation causes us to sabotage our recovery and create hatred and disorder to justify what we want to do. It is understood that we addicts create clouds of confusion to cover up our games and separate agendas. It is helpful to remember that we can no more kill desire for recovery in another addict than other can make us have that desire in the first place. So, it is a waste of time to savage NA. The deep wells of our love and gratitude will endure. We will be here to welcome you back when your sad cycle brings you our way again. This passage is not directed at the newcomer. It is for the unfaithful with clean time who choose to waste it, forgetting their own hard won lessons.

When members feel they cannot be honest about difficulties within their committees, simple problems can get really bad. When we can't talk about certain problems or talk with someone who has successfully dealt with the problems we are facing, we can really feel stumped. Some of our most devoted members can fall away from the Fellowship putting their terrific energy into fighting their fellows or leaving NA. God! This is unacceptable. We are all such miracles. We should be able to sit around and disagree all we want to with the understanding that when the talking is done, we really love and need each other. The shock of a real or imagined service disorder arouses deep resentment and anger when it comes. We all live under certain assumptions. One person put it this way: all can prescribe what all should do, but no one has a right to demand that another shall do what he does not do himself. When we feel this has been violated within our Fellowship or its structure, our very surrender is a stake. Many members use this sort of thing as an excuse to get loaded. We have to remind ourselves that the getting loaded part may be working to produce the perceived wrong doing the same as it does to produce physical pain if it thinks it can get dope that way.

As a matter of fact, haven't we all had enough emotional pain relating to unfairness and inequity in the world to be just a little tougher. Can we afford to let another's wrongdoing threaten our lives through relapse? We are better able to help each other find solutions based on personal experience than ever before in our history. Often we only see our faults and problems in retrospect. Are we enabling other by accepting the problems as is or are we allowing them to grow through the problem? Service disorders can and do affect NA as a whole. When are we operating on self will and when are we operating on spiritual guidance. The answer is often apparent.

Isolation is such a strong part of our addiction, we have much to learn about true self government. Almost every one or us has deep distrust of what other people will do to us if we drop our guards. This fear and distrust can make for funny problems when we get together to do some of our committee work. In general, as long as the service is very straight forward, there is little trouble. The more complex projects require time and something spiritual, yet close to management technique. The trouble comes when some of us actually try to apply real management techniques to their fellow members. It is easy to do and can even seem justified in terms of results.

The following essays need to be read as written. These offerings may provide support and guidance for members whose feelings involve issues and real concerns to our Fellowship. We are growing upward, outward and inward - all at the same time. We need to recognize conflicts of interest and personality clashes and deal with them effectively since they cannot be avoided. It should be emphasized that we are using principles to deal with life on life's terms. Service disorders have to do with the insanity of our disease. Our recovery process must generate the answers.

Can NA leadership skills be taught? Our leaders are but trusted servants, directly responsible to those they serve so how do we train people to exercise kind, caring and effective leadership?

This is a question/problem that seems very prevalent in NA -- there is often a core of concerned, hard-working NA members in a community, but they have trouble recruiting others into service. They are very good at doing things themselves, but they are not very effective at recruiting others to help. This greatly limits their ability to carry the message!

Experienced NA people don't always pass on their service experience. Many have had the chance to make mistakes and learn from others. There are many, many people with talent and energy in NA, but they'll stay out of service unless they are approached in a certain way. By the way, this is exactly the way I like to be treated, too!

We’ve all seen the committee chairperson who ‘knows’ the right way to do things, and then complains that they can't get any helpers. It's like an obsession -- these leaders who see exactly how the 'finished product' should look, and then try to use people as tools to carry our their vision. This rigidness clouds people's minds.

Take your average NA member, elected as H&I chair. The first thing he does is to call a committee meeting. He gets a few people, sure, but not many. The chair uses the meeting to start talking about the needs and problems of the hospitals and treatment centers in the area and how there are one or two faltering H&I meetings. Some issues are discussed, and maybe there's even a vote. Mainly, though, there's talk about getting more people involved! Next meeting, same thing . . . the chairperson gets frustrated. He ‘knows’ what should be done in those hospitals and other places, but no one seems to want to help! Puzzled and disheartened, he tries to do all of the area's H&I meetings himself, with maybe one or two helpers. He gets very tired, and can't understand why other NA members won't lift a finger to help!

Please consider a completely different approach: take the H&I committee and figure out what the overall goal is. Do we want to give every treatment center patient an introduction to NA once during their stay? Do we want to give all patients a weekly NA meeting? Is it enough to make literature available, without actual meetings? We have to have a rough idea of ‘where’ we're going! this become the ‘goal’ of the whole committee. It's discussed among the few people who come to the first few committee meetings.

The committee's overall goal must be concrete and definite -- so that success or failure can be  measured -- but nothing should be said about ‘how’ the goal should be accomplished. Methods will be decided by each committee member.

After the committee's main goal is agreed on, then it is divided up into lots of smaller goals. Each of these goals will equal one service position. One goal could be to introduce patients at St. Mary's Treatment Center to NA at least once during their four weeks there. Or, another goal could be to give any willing patient at Central Treatment Center a ride to the Wednesday night NA meeting . . .When, say fifteen of these goals have been identified, the recruiting begins. That's one of the main jobs of a committee chair -- recruiting! The other is supporting and encouraging the other committee members. A good chairman doesn't get bogged down in the details, but instead works on finding good people, agreeing on the goals of their position, and then turning them loose with full support. She monitors everything by talking in a friendly way with people, and offering them help (in the form of more money or more people). A good chairperson lets others take care of the details and decisions.

When recruiting people, the chairperson should always have a job in mind. "Tom, would you be willing to be IN CHARGE of bringing an NA experience to the patients at St. Mary's? You'd be FREE to do the job ANY WAY YOU WANT." Tom hesitates, and says, "Well, I dunno.." At this point, the committee chair says, "Thanks for not saying No right away! Please take a week and think about it -- you would be completely IN CHARGE of NA at St. Mary's -- I'd support whatever you decided to do there. I'll talk to you again in a week and see what you think."

Recruiting like this is fairly easy. Visiting meetings all over town, approaching active NA people. Of course, many people have been burned by NA committee work and say ‘NO’ to more service. But there is a ‘strong’ attraction to being IN CHARGE of something -- the chance for a person to put his or her personal stamp on a project! Eventually, you'll find people who'll say "Yes" and that's when the challenge ‘really’ starts.

The challenge is letting people do things ‘their’ way, instead of the way you ‘know’ is right! Yes, you have experience and don't want other to make the same mistakes you did. Yes, NA's reputation must be protected and we shouldn't waste a lot of time, money and energy. But it's like the difference between babysitting and adoption.

If you give your baby to a ‘babysitter’, you expect that person to follow your plans and procedures -- you have the right to give them suggestions and directions. "No! Hold the baby's head more carefully. That's it." In contrast, if you give your baby up for adoption, you loose any right to give directions. In fact, it's not your baby at all anymore!

Some committee chairs in NA seem to expect other committee members to ‘baby-sit’ part of the chair's big plan. Naturally, no one's got the time to ‘baby-sit’ someone else's baby for free -- they're busy with their own lives and recovery. That's where I feel like I've discovered nuclear energy - the key is letting people completely ‘adopt’ parts of a big project. The word ‘adopt’ is appropriate, because the committee chair must avoid ANY discussion of ‘how’ another committee member is doing their job. Just as you wouldn't criticize another parent for the way she is raising her child, an NA chair shouldn't criticize or ‘even comment on’ how another person chooses to handle his part of the big project. That baby's been adopted and the chairperson has just got to live with that person's ‘parenting’ style!

If you're a committee chair, your new committee members will test you on this right away. They'll look at your eyes and say, ‘I was thinking of having a purple watermelon punch as the main beverage for the convention. What do you think of that?" It's so easy to answer, "That's interesting. Are you going to have Coke too? I think a lot of people like Coke: Wrong! That person was just ‘testing’ whether they were a babysitter or a parent. The chairperson's comment showed that the convention refreshment person we just babysitting, because the chair showed that she had a definite idea about how the refreshment job should be done.

The ‘correct answer’ is to say, "Tom, I trust your judgement. Whatever you want to do is OK with me! Uh, if you think you're going to make a decision that will be controversial, you might want to bounce it off some other experienced NA members, but in the end, I'll support whatever you decide to do!" Yes, this is a long speech but it works! Notice, there's no mention of the crazy purple watermelon punch at all -- a good chairperson refuses to mess with details.

If all of this seems easy, it is ‘not’! The first time someone in your Public Information Committee asks you, "I was thinking of giving as interview about NA to the local newspaper, what do you think?" you won't be able to resist commenting. When you see their face after you give your ideas though, their expression will say, "Hell! I'm just a babysitter after all!" It's not too late to apologize though and say, "Hey, don't listen to me -- I trust whatever you decide about newspaper stuff." With time, you'll get the hang of expressing this kind of trust, and people will light up! People are happy to get involved in NA service when they are given clear goals and then turned loose to achieve those goals with creativity and intelligence. No second-guessing from the chairperson. No looking over their shoulder and commenting on how things should be done. When people experience this kind of responsibility, trust and freedom, they don't go wild -- actually, they become ‘very’ careful in their decisions. Group conscience speaks through them. Now, it's ‘their’ reputation on the line! Their pride won't let them fail!

It should be mentioned that there is always the rare case where a committee member completely stops doing his job. It's like a parent who neglects his child -- if some friendly questions like, "Is everything all right? Do you need some help?" from the chair doesn't resolve the problem, then that part of the project can be ‘gently’ handed over to someone else. This kind of service work is never boring! - June 1998, Sapporo, Japan  

I have lived clean through several difficult periods within NA in service and in recovery. For those of you who have learned spiritual principles to live life clean and pursue recovery, I am posting things that have helped me in hopes they will help others.

- Pray a lot. - do not speak ill of others. - be as nice as you can to people. - be firm and correct in your actions. - help correct errors within your system. - be open to the comments and criticisms of others. - practice the law of three: what you do comes back three times. - don't speak or act when in the grip of powerful emotions or anger. - trust your Higher Power to take care of things you are powerless over. - If in emotional pain, retreat to a safe place and contemplate all you have to be grateful for...

The ‘disease is between our ears.’ This is a powerful phrase for pointing out and reminding each of us that our spiritual condition is our responsibility. It is one thing no one can do for us. Gossip is a damaging social action. In a recovery context, it can also be like a person who is sick shows he or she is running a fever because their skin is hot. It can affect our fifth Tradition in recovery meetings. If a new person hears gossip about others, how long will it take for them to become the topic, especially if they have awful experience to share? It goes against anonymity. A program that specializes in taking in some of the worlds sickest people also takes in some of the world's most sickening people. We tend persuade others to take our side or viewpoint in things. An insightful member can hear someone gossiping and get with the person to help them process what they are hearing. Even this has to be done with care.

One time a newcomer was going over a group problem with me. The group was very upset about a particular member somewhat talking out of turn, being slightly disruptive and so forth. I assumed the problem was that he didn't know yet about certain things having to do with the background of the individual he was so offended by. I mentioned that our disease runs in families and that the facial features of the person seemed very like some pictures I had seen recently of persons who were born of parents who were in active alcohol addiction. The slightly distorted, features, reduced mental functions, etc. The point of my story is that I might have done leaving well enough alone. The kid who had been complaining felt so badly about attacking someone disabled like that, he may never have come back. This is one of those rotten little lessons that never comes again close enough to recognize and do better. Mentioning it here may be the only time I get to communicate it.

So, a lot of times for me, I try to look inside, beyond the surfaces, for what is really going on. One of the things I got from the Dune books by Frank Herbert was the idea that the health of a society can be judged by how it treats its dissenters. For me the idea became that a healthy society doesn't need to retaliate against dissention because it is secure in it foundation and doesn't have to react out of fear.

In a society of recovery addicts, we will always have those who challenge and oppose. It is part of the deal. Sometimes they will be right and we will be unable to hear them in time to do any good. But hopefully by surrendering and being open, we will do better. One of the things I love very much about this work and feel very devoted to is the way we reveal though time where we are really coming from.

Group consciousness functions by exchanging information and everyone gets to do this. Like a super, global family, we pray for wisdom to flow from a loving God centered mental and spiritual state out from the people who have it, through the people who need it to reach the people who have never thought of it - for the good of us all.

Much of it comes down to processing things that come up in our daily lives. Something that is considered known, may have been gotten wrong but is so specific that the error means nothing for a considerable time until an occasion to apply it comes along and it fails to work. We need to be able to constantly listen and review what we think we know to catch flaws before they do harm. Some of the things we hear have to be mixed with a ‘grain of salt’ to keep us from jumping to conclusions that may be erroneous or unfair. Judging others on our own experience can really create a lot of problems. Suppose we hear about a love affair. If we are happy in a relationship, we may have a somewhat tolerant, love and let love attitude. If we are frustrated and miserable, someone doing what we secretly want to do can arouse all the wrath of a Old Testament prophet. Recovering drug addicts are wondrously quixotic in this regard. At one of the world conventions I got to attend, a married woman was caught in bed with a man. Both were young and good looking. The man was being accused of rape by the woman. The person who came in on the lovers ‘in the act’ told me that she was on top and nothing visible was holding her in place. She didn't seem like someone being forced. Now the small circle of us recovering addicts who were informed on all this and in something of a position to make a call as to whether it be taken seriously or not were a little protective and bloodthirsty. What kind of animal would assault one of our sweet, sexy, attractive and outgoing little ladies! It was a trip. After to lady shared her impressions of what she had observed, I let out enough to eliminate the legal threats and let the people deal with their foolishness in a more contained manner. I always wish I had been able to console and make sure the guy was ok. In retrospect, it seems he was more likely the one who was ‘taken in’ by the situation and his main defect was in not being able to say ‘no’ to a beautiful woman who was open to his attentions. I hope they both are still clean.

While there can be no doubt that the damaging effects of irresponsible gossip will continue to exist, there is one more thing to consider: life is different in recovery. I had a member on my couch for a while. He was from the Miami Fellowship and very hot-headed. But he was also very street wise. One time I was sharing my inability to understand what the hell was going on in a particular situation and he cocked his head and looked at me. He liked me and seemed to look up to me in many ways. He said, "Don't you get it? Dope fiends cover their games with clouds of confusion." Since that moment, much has become clear to me.

Recently my first sponsor resurfaced, he has been out in the "real world" for about three years now. I have had a lot of negative responses to some of his choices thus far and was not very happy to have him reappear to say the least. Last week, he called at a very inopportune time but God gave me the insight that he is lonely and he's reaching out to this Fellowship through me. I recalled some of the things that he taught me when I first got clean and I felt really ashamed that I had become very judgmental of his choices.

Mostly I recalled how he had sat down with me and gave me examples of situations and asked if these violated which, if any, of our Traditions and if there was a violation - what was the best way to deal with it. I specifically recall the example he gave me on the Sixth Tradition. It went: A member shares that after being clean some months that their spouse still didn't seem to trust them and this was an intolerable situation. They didn't know whether to stay or go. My sponsor posed: I share, "You know, you should call Dr. John Doe. He's real good and fairly cheap." Then he asked what, if anything, I should do if I was chairing the meeting. He also gave me: I share, "I had a similar experience and I had to seek help beyond the Fellowship. Get with me after the meeting and we'll discuss it further." The God that I live with has a terrific sense of humor and I was placed in exactly this situation in an actual meeting and had to interrupt the sharing and direct the meeting back to recovery (with the offender being a family member, no less. It allowed me to be able to see that this works - not only in the rooms but everywhere I go. He taught me the ‘rules’ of this Fellowship and along with that he enabled me to be able to do service.

I see so many people who seem to think that our Traditions are not important to us as individuals and that you'll get it eventually. I know of nothing that I have ever been involved with that didn't REQUIRE learning the ‘rules.’ The Traditions are the ‘rules’ in this thing called Narcotics Anonymous within the rooms and outside the rooms. It is only through understanding and application that they work.

I was overwhelmed last weekend, during a conversation with my ex-sponsor, by gratitude for his taking the time to instruct me in the Traditions - giving me a basic understanding and sharing examples of how to apply them before he allowed (yes, that's the right word - I wanted to get involved and chair a meeting, he said, "Not until I am sure that you understand the Traditions.") me to get into service. The chairperson of a meeting is a servant of our Fellowship - what a concept and what a responsibility. How do you meet the responsibility of chairing a meeting and ensuring that the meeting maintains an atmosphere of recovery if you haven't learned the Traditions and their practical applications?

This knowledge is the most valuable tool that I own when I get involved in service in any form, at any level, anywhere I go - within this Fellowship and in the ‘real’ world as well.