Posted by Kathy on November 13, 19101 at 18:09:35:
In Reply to: Re: UK Region and NAWOL posted by Steve S. Dalton, Ga on November 13, 19101 at 13:20:51:
many thanks everyone for all the posts relating to what I asked. It has helped me feel that I am not alone in going with my feelings as long as they 'feel right' as as my sponsor keeps saying to me if something 'feels wrong' it's probably God trying to nudge me in the right directiion.I feel I must give everyone a little history behind my post. I am not a long term member of NA as I have only been clean a little under 2 years and around for about nine months longer than that so I feel my experience isn't worth that much sometimes (except for when I think my experience is all that matters-I'm sure some of you understand that!). Since I was dragged to an ASC at 30 days clean I've had a desire to find out more about the fellowship and thank God I've got a sponsor who works through the traditions with me as well as the steps because I need to know what holds it all together. I became the tea person(coffee person) at the ASC and got to know a few people there as friends. When the guy who became our RCM was voted in fron Alt he wondered if I wanted to go with him to see what it was like and as I was staying with various friends at the time due to building work being done on my home I thought it was a good way to give them a weekends break from me and went. Somehow I ended up putting my name on the Region minutes mailing list and got sent a copy from that Region and thought no more about it. Two Regions later I was reading through the reports from other ASC's at our ASC and found one from the Area that were asking the question'has anyone heard of this book-is it approved fellowship literature?' Being new to the internet I looked it up and found myself reading the chapters which I found really amazing-especially some of the 'issues'dealt with. Then out of the blue I got a copy of the region minutes that I quoted on this page and had that crazy addict thought 'am I doing something wrong???(and that other thought-what will peoplke think of me ' as I'd already sent various people various bits like the parenting chapter etc and had crazy visions of being 'cast out')
So I did what I've been told to do and spoke to my sponsor who funnily enough knew a little about it as she'd been to the Colchester meeting about abuse. She asked me if I'd been given anything by what I'd read and I had, iwhat I'd seen was all NA driven principles and 'felt right' she told me that I need to listen to people's experience strength and hope wherecer i find it and that as long as I'm living the steps to the best of my ability I'm doing ok for today.
I'd like to add here that there is a member of my home group who I have had personality problems with since I came in and my sponsor(who isn't from my home group-there's only one member who's female in my town who's female-me) spent many many hours teaching me about principles before personalities and to listen when he was sharing as I may learn some thing that could save my life and(funnily enough) I have on more than one occasion!
I guess the reason i felt i had to mention taht was 'cos it seems to have given me the ability to sort of see both sides to something and to go with what 'feels right' inside rather than going with what whoever shouts loudest says.
I feel I'm putting myself very badly here but I guess what I'm trying to say is that the experience I've read from the chapters means something to me and the stuff on the bulletein board ( where people get angry with each other and start trying to say who's right and who's wrong ) is just background and doesn't have to bother me 'cos it isn't my stuff.
I was concerned over UK Regions reaction at the time as I know how the Ipswich Recovery in Actin group are treated over here but I have heard a member of theirs share and got an amazing amount of strength from it the same as I have from other NA members. Again I have to learn that that's not my stuff and if I find something taht helps me that I can share with others then that's the whole point of NA (like Steve said)
I love NA as it saved my life and I do like to find out about where we came from and from hearing a man called Vito share at the London Convention this year I learnt who Jimmy K was and thank God for that as it got me really interested in learning as much as I could about my family and so have discovered bits of history and am learning more each day (I do try to do as much homework as I can, Rob). The way it feels is there has been controversey about many things , some resolved some not but NA has carried through (I've only found very little about the God debate that seemed to rage a few years ago but we seem to have come out of that ok)I'm very grateful that NA is bigger than all these arguments and differences of opinion because everyone must still be helping the newcomer whatever side of the fence they're on or there wouldn't have been anyone there to carry the message to my sponsor's sponsor never mind me and all those yet to come as these problems have been around for a lot longer than any of us.
A phrase that keeps springing to mind is 'Together we can' and thanks to everyone who has ever shared with me be that by speech,recorded speech or the written word At my stage in recovery if it came from a camel beating it out on tom tom drums I need to hear it. Thanks to everyone for being there.